One of the differences I noticed when I moved to Canada from the US many years ago was in the attitudes of my clients. Having plied my trade in and around New York City for nearly 20 years, I was used to a certain degree of bombast from clients who–working in the Most Important City in the World–thought quite highly of their jobs and themselves. My goal as their coach was to help them modify their self-presentation so it didn’t sound like mere boasting.
When I got to Canada (a country which has the lock on the use of “Sorry” in response to almost everything), I discovered a different problem: time after time, my well-established and successful Canadian clients resisted any appearance of braggadocio. Squirming in their seats, they used language like, “I really don’t like talking about myself.” Or “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.” Or even worse, “My work should speak for itself.” Yikes!
A recent Harvard Business Review Management Tip entitled “Beware the of Risks of Too Much Humility” outlines the problems that attitude can cause–in job interviews and at work.
“HBR-Beware the of Risks of Too Much Humility”
Here’s some advice I give to any of my clients else suffering from false modesty:
- Learning to be comfortable talking about yourself–This is a key component of a successful job search, as well as ongoing career success. Rather than fearing you might sound boastful, reframe your approach to focus on conveying what skills/abilities/talents/experience you possess that may be able to address the challenges of a given role. After all, a job is just a bunch of problems gathered under a title with the mandate to solve them effectively and efficiently. Communicating to an interviewer or your boss what you’ve done in the past to address similar challenges is how they know how you can help.
- Telling stories–Clarifying the problem/challenge/opportunity you faced, why it was important, what you did to address the situation and the positive results your work generated is not bragging. It’s clarifying your abilities, and is vital for behavioural interviews, the most common form of interview you’ll face. Recruiters and hiring managers use behavioural interview questions on the reasonable assumption that success in a similar situation in the past is the best predictor for success in the role they are looking to fill.
- Resumé and LinkedIn profile–While a polished and professional resumé and LinkedIn profile are necessary, they are not sufficient. And if your aversion to laying out your relevant experience transfers to your written self-presentation, you won’t have a resumé, you’ll have an employment history focused on job titles, duties and responsibilities at best (snore) or worse, an obituary: “Here’s where I’ve worked; you figure out if that’s anything you might be interested in.”
How can you overcome an innate, societal or cultural reluctance to talking about yourself?
- Start with an attitude of objectivity–Pretend you are assessing someone else: what are you looking for in terms of specific skills, experience, education, professional credentials? Now look at your materials and see if they make it easy to identify career assets. If not, fill in the gaps.
- Create an accomplishments-based resume–This starts with a Profile to claim what you’re good for. Use the body of the resume to clarify what’s you’ve done and use metrics (#, $, %) to prove it. Then use the same process to upgrade your LinkedIn profile.
- Sound Bites–Once you are able to see yourself and what you bring to the table in writing, craft a series of “sound bites” that can convey that information orally. Keep your answers short, providing enough information that leaves the listener wanting more detail.
- Research and review–Use typical interview questions to familiarize yourself with the different way organizations assess your fit. Be prepared to respond to questions like “Tell me about a time when you…” and “You say you have expertise in X; can you give me an example?” and “How would you handle Y?” (see my previous post on Situational Interviews).
- Follow the 5 P Method–Prepare what you’re going to say, including writing it out and editing for brevity/clarity. Practice it out loud–not just by yourself but with another. Personalize your answers to make them specific to the organization v. “canned.” Perform to the best of your ability in the meeting. Pursue continuous improvement by evaluating each interview to see what can be improved. The goal is Progress not Perfection, as anything worth doing is worth doing badly until you get good at it!
If you need help with this process, that’s what a career coach is for. Feel free to reach out so you can up your presentation game and stop eating humble pie.
Day Merrill, M.A., is the founding Partner and Career/Executive Coach for 2BDetermined. She is a 30-year career services professional with expertise coaching individuals and teams on a range of career and work-related topics as well as consulting to organizations in Canada and the U.S. on their workforce development needs. Day holds a B.A. from Connecticut College, a Master of Arts from Wesleyan University and has completed Coach U’s coach certification training.
Day Merrill
Day Merrill, M.A.
Founder & Principal
2BDetermined Inc.
Office: 416.725.2947
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One of the differences I noticed when I moved to Canada from the US many years ago was in the attitudes of my clients. Having plied my trade in and around New York City for nearly 20 years, I was used to a certain degree of bombast from clients who–working in the Most Important City in the World–thought quite highly of their jobs and themselves. My goal as their coach was to help them modify their self-presentation so it didn’t sound like mere boasting.
When I got to Canada (a country which has the lock on the use of “Sorry” in response to almost everything), I discovered a different problem: time after time, my well-established and successful Canadian clients resisted any appearance of braggadocio. Squirming in their seats, they used language like, “I really don’t like talking about myself.” Or “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.” Or even worse, “My work should speak for itself.” Yikes!
A recent Harvard Business Review Management Tip entitled “Beware the of Risks of Too Much Humility” outlines the problems that attitude can cause–in job interviews and at work.
“HBR-Beware the of Risks of Too Much Humility”
Here’s some advice I give to any of my clients else suffering from false modesty:
- Learning to be comfortable talking about yourself–This is a key component of a successful job search, as well as ongoing career success. Rather than fearing you might sound boastful, reframe your approach to focus on conveying what skills/abilities/talents/experience you possess that may be able to address the challenges of a given role. After all, a job is just a bunch of problems gathered under a title with the mandate to solve them effectively and efficiently. Communicating to an interviewer or your boss what you’ve done in the past to address similar challenges is how they know how you can help.
- Telling stories–Clarifying the problem/challenge/opportunity you faced, why it was important, what you did to address the situation and the positive results your work generated is not bragging. It’s clarifying your abilities, and is vital for behavioural interviews, the most common form of interview you’ll face. Recruiters and hiring managers use behavioural interview questions on the reasonable assumption that success in a similar situation in the past is the best predictor for success in the role they are looking to fill.
- Resumé and LinkedIn profile–While a polished and professional resumé and LinkedIn profile are necessary, they are not sufficient. And if your aversion to laying out your relevant experience transfers to your written self-presentation, you won’t have a resumé, you’ll have an employment history focused on job titles, duties and responsibilities at best (snore) or worse, an obituary: “Here’s where I’ve worked; you figure out if that’s anything you might be interested in.”
How can you overcome an innate, societal or cultural reluctance to talking about yourself?
- Start with an attitude of objectivity–Pretend you are assessing someone else: what are you looking for in terms of specific skills, experience, education, professional credentials? Now look at your materials and see if they make it easy to identify career assets. If not, fill in the gaps.
- Create an accomplishments-based resume–This starts with a Profile to claim what you’re good for. Use the body of the resume to clarify what’s you’ve done and use metrics (#, $, %) to prove it. Then use the same process to upgrade your LinkedIn profile.
- Sound Bites–Once you are able to see yourself and what you bring to the table in writing, craft a series of “sound bites” that can convey that information orally. Keep your answers short, providing enough information that leaves the listener wanting more detail.
- Research and review–Use typical interview questions to familiarize yourself with the different way organizations assess your fit. Be prepared to respond to questions like “Tell me about a time when you…” and “You say you have expertise in X; can you give me an example?” and “How would you handle Y?” (see my previous post on Situational Interviews).
- Follow the 5 P Method–Prepare what you’re going to say, including writing it out and editing for brevity/clarity. Practice it out loud–not just by yourself but with another. Personalize your answers to make them specific to the organization v. “canned.” Perform to the best of your ability in the meeting. Pursue continuous improvement by evaluating each interview to see what can be improved. The goal is Progress not Perfection, as anything worth doing is worth doing badly until you get good at it!
If you need help with this process, that’s what a career coach is for. Feel free to reach out so you can up your presentation game and stop eating humble pie.
Day Merrill, M.A., is the founding Partner and Career/Executive Coach for 2BDetermined. She is a 30-year career services professional with expertise coaching individuals and teams on a range of career and work-related topics as well as consulting to organizations in Canada and the U.S. on their workforce development needs. Day holds a B.A. from Connecticut College, a Master of Arts from Wesleyan University and has completed Coach U’s coach certification training.